The Development House

Raising a child is investing in the future. The quality of relationships around a child shapes their brain, nervous system, and physical body. Parenting is like building a house, get the foundations and infrastructure right and that house becomes a home, supporting others, able to stand solid and grounded, whatever it must face.

This requires predictable relationships and experiences Which are the necessary construction blocks enabling a child to grow and gain a sense of their self and their potential.

  • The Foundation

    The foundation blocks need carers to pay close, calm attention to my needs so that I can be soothed and settled safely. If this happens enough, an infant’s nervous system wires with a feeling of safety which enables me to be alert to the wonders of the world around me. I am ready to engage.

  • The Frame

    The frame forms when the baby is on the move, grasping, reaching, making eye contact. This requires loving reciprocal, relational play: smiling, singing, pleasure. These simple activities activate the brain’s built-in capacity for connection and within that loving supportive relationship I am open to be curious and learn.

  • The Wiring

    The wiring of our house is the start of shared social problem solving. Simple words and gestures enable play and exploration to happen. I learn that other people can be fun and useful to be with and I can communicate beyond my basic needs. I start to learn to share.

  • Rooms

    The rooms of the house are the development of simple language that enables my needs to be shared more easily and I learn to take in other people’s needs. This is the foundation of cooperation and sharing. My world expands.

  • Decorating our house

    Decorating our house is learning complex language which enables me to name my feelings and share my ideas. This connection of words with emotions is a key part of social connection and will ultimately help me regulate my feelings. If I can use words to tell you how I feel, I have a better chance of being understood and supported.

  • The Driveway

    Finally, the driveway is when my emotions and thinking learn to work together, and this allows me to build bridges with people and ideas. I understand perspective and can mentalise another’s state. This integration allows me to move out into the world capable of connecting and collaborating with others because I know and trust myself.

    Our children need quality time balanced with a degree of space so that each development stage has the required features for them to reach their unique potential.